Your Ten Year Reunion
This past weekend Amanda and I attended her ten year reunion, just as we had attended mine. I have been to three reunions now, and have talked to some people about theirs. I am seeing some similarities. I feel qualified to tell you this.....
Since most of you on MySpace may not have attended your ten year reunion, I will tell you exactly what will happen. All of this for free, in an easy 12 step plan...
1. First of all upon receipt of your invitation, years of memories, a flood of anticipation and an ounce of dread will bring back whatever insecurities you had. Perhaps opening the letter will provoke thoughts of vindication that your sucsses over the last decade will allow you to enforce.
2. If your a female (or to a lesser extent male) a crash diet/search for the "mythical" perfect out fit will begin. You will hop from store to store trying to find the outfit that will crop 10 pounds, add curves, vanish wrinkles, cure the common cold etc... You will wash your car for the first time in months/years.
3. You will send an outrageous check to the reunion commitee for finger foods, facility, DJ, and a group photo (which will leave you thinking "we paid $100 for this").
And then the real dog show begins
4. You will arrive (late) only to be greeted by people you have no idea who they are. This is because the spouses of your classmates are always near the entrances/exits. They are hoping that by some chance their spouse will let them leave or escape ealry. This will confound you. You will ask yourself.. will there be anyone I recognize here? Then it will happen you will recognize someone, but it will inevitably be someone you did not hang with in school. This will be followed by several minutes of bland conversation that is forced and trite. Something to the effect of "you look good (even if they don't), "are things going well?", "this is my wife/husband/date", " what is your yearly income after taxes?" etc... Niether of you will speak to each other again for 5 years till your 15 year reunion, when a similar predicament will occur.
5. You will then proceed to the room where most people are gathered, you will notice that 95% of the people there will be drinking. In fact people who don't normaly drink are somehow emboldened this evening and turn up the bottle. Why? my theory is three fold 1.) Because they can. They are not in high school any more. They no longer have to sneak around with fake I.D's or go camping at old man Caruthers farm for an evening of intoxication 2.) Because its what you do when your an adult right? Nothing says "hey I am an adult" more than casualy holding a longneck bottle of beer (with your thumb and index finger dangeling the liquid, always at your waist for maximum cool effect). 3.) For comfort, many of your classmates are simply trying to get through the night and want the relaxation the drink can give them.
6.) The second thing you will observe is that, "wow" this place is dark. I am not sure why all high school reunions have to be lit so poorly. I think its designed to help give us the sense that no matter how I appear the dark room helps. Also you will think: "man this is loud", as all high school reunions hire DJ's who play music from your graduating year. This really stunk for me as New Kids on The Block were all the rage my senior year.
7.) Eventualy you will find some of your friends, who if you were really that close to, you never lost touch with them in the first place. In fact you may have seen them last week. But what if your friend moved far away I would like to see them right? Wrong, if one of your friends moved far away, the odds are they will not spend $200 to fly in for the event, because...they are so far away.
8.) Now your group of friends (who you've hung around these last 10 years) will gather around each other and stand there, talking about all the other people who you wonder if they are there. The problem is you may not see them as they are huddled in their group circle maybe asking if you are here.
9.) Now its time to do a little people watching!!!!
A.) There will almost certainly be "that guy, or that girl" there. You know the classmate that was not all that popular or attractive, that has come back from wherever they spent the last ten years as the prevebial "butterfly". Maybe through plastic surgery or drastic weight reduction, facial cleansing, growth spurt, whatever they are now rubbing it in with all the vidictive force they can muster. They walk around happily infiltrating every little huddle, showing off the new look, recieving each compliment and counting it as if it took away ten mean comments from the decade before. Revenge baby thats why they came, you got big, I got better!
B) The Still Single set will be there, this is your 10 year reunion after all probably a fourth of you will be single. Many of those (girls) will stay home feeling like they have failed the test to come to the event. It's as if you have to be married to make it as a woman. Many of those (boys) will be there hoping the prom queen somehow made it through to this point single or divorced. Problem being she will be at home thinking she failed the test allowing her to come. Or the singles will be seated firmly at the bar, trying to avoid standing there being introduced to a parade of other peoples spouses.
C.) You will notice the number one ultimate renuion phnomenom. Its only been ten years, and it will be oddly similar to your high school cafeteria at lunch except with dim lights, music, beer, and non carbonated mixed drinks. The jocks will talk about the good times with the jocks but this time with their trophey wives, the geeks will talk math and video games with the nerds, or re-live that time they played a prank on a teacher, etc...and they will all be in their huddle together. The huddles will each be apart from every one else almost like their sitting around the lunch table. There are a few exceptions watch these people it's funny. You will watch those people who try to hang out with "everyone", or maybe they have actually matured a little and realize they are not in the lunch room anymore. They will move from "lunch table to "lunch table" feeling akward as they are reluctantly included in the conversation. They feel almost ashamed that they actualy have grown up a little.
D). Perhaps you will notice the 30-60% of your class that's not there. Some are uncomfortable, some cannot aford it, some just want to forget, some simply forget to sign up whatever. Odds are most of the people who are not there are the people who were not that interested in high school in the first place. So on second thought, you may not notice that their not there after all.
10). Group Picture! The inevitable group photo. This will be one of the more fun events of the night for all involved. For the classmates, they can all be together in a united cause, which is always "making fun of why were are taking this picture". But its more fun for the spouses who can take a 20 minute break from meeting people they will forget in 2 hours. They will be releaved and rejuvenated thinking "this thing is half way over at least'
11.) And so it begins, its time. I mean how long can so many people stand around drinking without the craziness breaking out. There will be assuradly the three or four girls who will begin to dance, to the delight or discomfort of many. The volume will turn up as intoxicated people always yell into each others ears. The DJ will be bolistered by the fact people are dancing. He will abandon the old tunes and play today's dance hits. There is kind of a "hey, we are still young" mentality that begins to take over. They want one more night at "Old man Caruthers". There will be ill advised flirtation, people will start being a little more "honest" with their comments about each other. The major difference from Old man Caruthers farm to today is this...most of these people are now married. Those spouses who are also drinking at this point are getting a little more comfortable with the scene and start to come alive. Many of the more level headed folks have left to tuck in their kids. Things are brewing for the perfect storm......its at that point head for door!
12.) As you walk to the door you will almost hate to leave. As if you are seeing your past erased for good. Its like the moment you graduated you started looking foward to the reunion. Now its over, and you know what happened. Like you've seen the end of the book, and although the reunion was lame and you did not really think you had fun....you did because for a few hours on a Saturday night you were back in high school, back there with little responsibility, old friends and a lot of memories.
Post note...... The best thing about the ten year reunion is that in five or ten years you will have another one. This time the dog show will be over and most everyone will have finaly grown up. Most of you will have kids, responsibilties, careers, stability, heartache, etc... Your next reunion will be much more relaxed, because you and your classmates will realize life is not a game where you win "best in show".
Since most of you on MySpace may not have attended your ten year reunion, I will tell you exactly what will happen. All of this for free, in an easy 12 step plan...
1. First of all upon receipt of your invitation, years of memories, a flood of anticipation and an ounce of dread will bring back whatever insecurities you had. Perhaps opening the letter will provoke thoughts of vindication that your sucsses over the last decade will allow you to enforce.
2. If your a female (or to a lesser extent male) a crash diet/search for the "mythical" perfect out fit will begin. You will hop from store to store trying to find the outfit that will crop 10 pounds, add curves, vanish wrinkles, cure the common cold etc... You will wash your car for the first time in months/years.
3. You will send an outrageous check to the reunion commitee for finger foods, facility, DJ, and a group photo (which will leave you thinking "we paid $100 for this").
And then the real dog show begins
4. You will arrive (late) only to be greeted by people you have no idea who they are. This is because the spouses of your classmates are always near the entrances/exits. They are hoping that by some chance their spouse will let them leave or escape ealry. This will confound you. You will ask yourself.. will there be anyone I recognize here? Then it will happen you will recognize someone, but it will inevitably be someone you did not hang with in school. This will be followed by several minutes of bland conversation that is forced and trite. Something to the effect of "you look good (even if they don't), "are things going well?", "this is my wife/husband/date", " what is your yearly income after taxes?" etc... Niether of you will speak to each other again for 5 years till your 15 year reunion, when a similar predicament will occur.
5. You will then proceed to the room where most people are gathered, you will notice that 95% of the people there will be drinking. In fact people who don't normaly drink are somehow emboldened this evening and turn up the bottle. Why? my theory is three fold 1.) Because they can. They are not in high school any more. They no longer have to sneak around with fake I.D's or go camping at old man Caruthers farm for an evening of intoxication 2.) Because its what you do when your an adult right? Nothing says "hey I am an adult" more than casualy holding a longneck bottle of beer (with your thumb and index finger dangeling the liquid, always at your waist for maximum cool effect). 3.) For comfort, many of your classmates are simply trying to get through the night and want the relaxation the drink can give them.
6.) The second thing you will observe is that, "wow" this place is dark. I am not sure why all high school reunions have to be lit so poorly. I think its designed to help give us the sense that no matter how I appear the dark room helps. Also you will think: "man this is loud", as all high school reunions hire DJ's who play music from your graduating year. This really stunk for me as New Kids on The Block were all the rage my senior year.
7.) Eventualy you will find some of your friends, who if you were really that close to, you never lost touch with them in the first place. In fact you may have seen them last week. But what if your friend moved far away I would like to see them right? Wrong, if one of your friends moved far away, the odds are they will not spend $200 to fly in for the event, because...they are so far away.
8.) Now your group of friends (who you've hung around these last 10 years) will gather around each other and stand there, talking about all the other people who you wonder if they are there. The problem is you may not see them as they are huddled in their group circle maybe asking if you are here.
9.) Now its time to do a little people watching!!!!
A.) There will almost certainly be "that guy, or that girl" there. You know the classmate that was not all that popular or attractive, that has come back from wherever they spent the last ten years as the prevebial "butterfly". Maybe through plastic surgery or drastic weight reduction, facial cleansing, growth spurt, whatever they are now rubbing it in with all the vidictive force they can muster. They walk around happily infiltrating every little huddle, showing off the new look, recieving each compliment and counting it as if it took away ten mean comments from the decade before. Revenge baby thats why they came, you got big, I got better!
B) The Still Single set will be there, this is your 10 year reunion after all probably a fourth of you will be single. Many of those (girls) will stay home feeling like they have failed the test to come to the event. It's as if you have to be married to make it as a woman. Many of those (boys) will be there hoping the prom queen somehow made it through to this point single or divorced. Problem being she will be at home thinking she failed the test allowing her to come. Or the singles will be seated firmly at the bar, trying to avoid standing there being introduced to a parade of other peoples spouses.
C.) You will notice the number one ultimate renuion phnomenom. Its only been ten years, and it will be oddly similar to your high school cafeteria at lunch except with dim lights, music, beer, and non carbonated mixed drinks. The jocks will talk about the good times with the jocks but this time with their trophey wives, the geeks will talk math and video games with the nerds, or re-live that time they played a prank on a teacher, etc...and they will all be in their huddle together. The huddles will each be apart from every one else almost like their sitting around the lunch table. There are a few exceptions watch these people it's funny. You will watch those people who try to hang out with "everyone", or maybe they have actually matured a little and realize they are not in the lunch room anymore. They will move from "lunch table to "lunch table" feeling akward as they are reluctantly included in the conversation. They feel almost ashamed that they actualy have grown up a little.
D). Perhaps you will notice the 30-60% of your class that's not there. Some are uncomfortable, some cannot aford it, some just want to forget, some simply forget to sign up whatever. Odds are most of the people who are not there are the people who were not that interested in high school in the first place. So on second thought, you may not notice that their not there after all.
10). Group Picture! The inevitable group photo. This will be one of the more fun events of the night for all involved. For the classmates, they can all be together in a united cause, which is always "making fun of why were are taking this picture". But its more fun for the spouses who can take a 20 minute break from meeting people they will forget in 2 hours. They will be releaved and rejuvenated thinking "this thing is half way over at least'
11.) And so it begins, its time. I mean how long can so many people stand around drinking without the craziness breaking out. There will be assuradly the three or four girls who will begin to dance, to the delight or discomfort of many. The volume will turn up as intoxicated people always yell into each others ears. The DJ will be bolistered by the fact people are dancing. He will abandon the old tunes and play today's dance hits. There is kind of a "hey, we are still young" mentality that begins to take over. They want one more night at "Old man Caruthers". There will be ill advised flirtation, people will start being a little more "honest" with their comments about each other. The major difference from Old man Caruthers farm to today is this...most of these people are now married. Those spouses who are also drinking at this point are getting a little more comfortable with the scene and start to come alive. Many of the more level headed folks have left to tuck in their kids. Things are brewing for the perfect storm......its at that point head for door!
12.) As you walk to the door you will almost hate to leave. As if you are seeing your past erased for good. Its like the moment you graduated you started looking foward to the reunion. Now its over, and you know what happened. Like you've seen the end of the book, and although the reunion was lame and you did not really think you had fun....you did because for a few hours on a Saturday night you were back in high school, back there with little responsibility, old friends and a lot of memories.
Post note...... The best thing about the ten year reunion is that in five or ten years you will have another one. This time the dog show will be over and most everyone will have finaly grown up. Most of you will have kids, responsibilties, careers, stability, heartache, etc... Your next reunion will be much more relaxed, because you and your classmates will realize life is not a game where you win "best in show".
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